February 2012
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Bahahahaha
I probably shouldn’t find it so amusing that my bank isn’t allowing me to transfer money online, but I do. Guess I’m not loaning anyone money right now, oops.
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I have an idea, let’s all call Bank of Michele and ask her for money. Because a single mom living off of student loans and a grad student stipend is THE best person to repeatedly borrow money from. I knew this was going to happen when I told him I’d send him my cell phone payments all at once.
Two. Two separate people today! My family is ridiculous.
Plus this text:...
crazysexydiva asked: Aww that's cool! Thanks for the honest response! I always love reading when you and your little guy do stuff together! He sounds adorable and you sound like an awesome mom! xoxo
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I just got a really sweet email from one of the guys in my graduate program:
Hi Michele, I was chatting with WW and she happened to mention that Little Man had indicated he wanted some more time with guys. It had dawned on me that I happen to be a guy and there happen to be several other guys in the department who are fond of the little guy. I know you must be twice as busy as I am so I...
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crazysexydiva asked: does your son know you blog? if he does, does he say anything about it?
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Guess who has an inflatable Rock Pigeon complete...
That’s right, I do thanks to WUYW! I also wasted a bunch of time looking up the other inflatables they make. They make the turtle species I have (red-eared slider), perch, a frog, and a human torso. I should probably get back to work.
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I'm an evil mother
My kid accidentally ate soap tonight and I laughed so hard. Before you start thinking he is really dumb, let me explain. He got a valentine from one of the girls in his class. It was attached to this blue cookie in a plastic bag. It really didn’t occur to me that it could be anything other than a cookie. He asked me if he could eat it for dessert, I said sure, he took a gigantic bite...
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I may have cried
Today this lucky girl got to open the best package she’s ever been sent. It was really cute and full of awesome. [Insert cheesy grin here]
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Being both extremely stressed out and excited at the same time is a very odd feeling. I have soooo much damn work to do. I’m working on Thursday’s lecture right now, and some grading. Then I’m going to grab a vegetarian lunch before I teach. I’m taking a little break this afternoon and getting a pedicure with WUYW. Also, I will have surprises waiting on my doorstep when I...
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Party Time!
unkamatt answered your question: I went to bed super cranky last night and then…
I hear he likes Batman meets Scooby Doo and Power Ranger Samurai…
Dang, that little birdy gets around! I immediately thought no f’ing way on the Power Rangers. I don’t want to be locked in a room while that plays on a big screen! I had originally thought the Batman meets Scooby thing, but we...
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I went to bed super cranky last night and then didn’t sleep very well. I kept waking up and I was having terrible dreams. Stupid stress makes me all emotional and I cry way too easy. I didn’t want to get up but I have to meet with a student this morning. Then I got drenched walking from my car to my office. Also, it seemed warm enough when I left that I just wore a sweater, now...
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Hold me closer Tony Danza...
It doesn’t matter which picture I use, I am always a ~96% match with Natalie Imbruglia. I don’t think I look anything like her but now two people have said there is a resemblance. I made two different morph videos and I still don’t really see it. Leggy Blonde thinks it’s because our eyes are so similar. Whatever, I’ll take it…at least it’s not matching...
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“I tried a second picture, this time my top match was Annette Bening 80% (ick!)...”
– Text from Leggy Blonde. She just isn’t having much luck with that.
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Texts with Tony Danza
Leggy Blonde: OMG! WTF! That celebrity lookalike thing told me that I look like Tony Danza by 57%!!!!!!! Wtf!!!
Me: Hahahahahahaa
LB: WTF is that shit! I do NOT look like Tony Danza!! I also look like someone named Song Hye-kyo no idea who that is but I'm pretty sure I'm not Asian.
Me: Omg I can't stop laughing. I swear you don't look anything like Tony Danza. I just looked up that chick and she's pretty hot!
LB: It's like the time I was in high school and some boy told me I look like Garth!!
Me: Aww I'm sorry! You don't look anything like Garth, the only thing you have in common is hair color.
LB: Hahaha thank you
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“You ARE NOT the boss of my stomach!!!”
– Little Man at lunch. He’s on a roll today.
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Just rub it in
“Mom, how old are you?”
“Thirty”
“Cool, I’m almost as old as you. Let’s see…5, 6, 7, 8, ……., 29, 30. *GASPS* YOU ARE SO MANY YEARS! You’re old mom.”
Then a little while later when I was folding clothes and found money:
“Mom, are those my dollars?”
“No, they’re mine.”
“You know I have...
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Nothing like waiting until the last minute
That movie night a couple of weeks ago that was canceled due to snow? Well it was rescheduled for tonight. I forgot to remind people until yesterday. Then no one responded, so I figured “eh whatever, I can get some work done instead” (because I was not productive yesterday). A few hours ago the texts and emails start coming in….fuck! So I cleaned my house the fastest...
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“Oh sweet baby Jesus in a golden diaper, you just made spilling wine all over the...”
– An actual text I sent last night. I am full of awesome.
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Drunk Leggy Blonde attempts to boost my ego
Leggy Blonde: So what are ya drinkin anyways??
Me: Red wine too!!!
LB: Oh good! I've been mixing mine with sierra mist...don't call me white trash please.
Me: Eeewww OMG WTF? Gross LB!
LB: Noooo it's called a spritzer! It was big in the 80s maybe the 70s. I swear. Look it up on the internet and finish your glass!
Me: I'm drinking...I haven't had any alcohol since New Years.
LB: Omg. Get on the spritzer wagon, it's G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S! I learned that from Fergie, so you know it's true!
...a little later...
Me: We should get on Skype at some point
LB: Oh hell yea but you gotta get on my level first. And that level is spritzer level. I dunno if you can go low. *rapper voice* how low can you go!
...even later...
LB: what glass are you on?
Me: One, sorry I'm trying on clothes. (sends pic of me in a dress)
LB: Oh hell yeah that one fits!
Me: I have it in teal too :)
LB: Ohhhhhh teal, I wanna fuck anything peacock, and yes I speak for the male majority.
Me: Hahahahaha (sends pick of my reunion dress-I was having a fashion show)
LB: Oh fuck me! Hot momma! Please tell me you're on glass two!?????? Fuck. Get it on girl. Everyone who didn't know is gonna be like dAmmmmn I was blind!
Me: The reunion already happened (pic of the teal dress from earlier)
LB: OMG you are a hot tamale, if I was a guy I'd be pleasing myself and strokin my dog right now!!!
Me: Hahahahahahaha omg I'm going to cry.
LB: Please tell me happy laughter tears!!
Me: Yes, for sure.
LB: Yay meeshe! I love you!!!
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Full Disclosure
I haven’t had any alcohol since NYE. Yeah, so I’m going to attempt to pace myself…but most of you know how good I am at that. I apologize in advance for any ridiculous posts. I already have one in the works because LB keeps texting me and I’m pretty sure she’s already drunk. It’s comical.
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jktjr asked: I think your Tumblr is great!I am going to follow.
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My mistake, I thought a meeting about kindergarten...
A woman from the school district came to talk about kindergarten readiness. This is what was covered:
The school district has a website
Look at the website (but I can’t show it to you now because I didn’t think ahead to make sure we had internet access)
Stuff is on that website
Fill out the packet for registration (though don’t ask me how you get said packet…you...
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My phone is awesome
I was trying to type “Lol” and accidentally typed “Lil” and my phone autocorrected it to “Kim”.
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I might have to leave the coffee shop a couple hours earlier than planned. This old guy at the table next to me won’t stop staring at me. He’s not subtle about it at all, he’s turned 90 degrees in his chair so that he is facing me. It’s creeping me out and it’s distracting me from finishing my lecture. Ugh, stop!!!
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Nothing has changed since elementary school
I was at my grandparents house (we lived down the street at the time) and I had a report due the next day about Hans Christian Anderson. I had known about it for at least a month but waited until the night before to do it. So I cried. A lot. Because I was certain there was no way I could get it done. Then I got yelled at by my parents for waiting until the last minute. Then once my family...
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My life is way too stressful at the moment.
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“Happy Valentine’s Day to my beautiful daughters. Not only beautiful on the...”
– Text my sister and I just got from our dad.
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Fact: I get more excited/nervous about giving gifts than the people who are receiving them from me. And more excited than when I am the one receiving gifts. This combined with impatience = pure torture.
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They like me, they really like me
As you already know, I was in a superhero challenge on MyFitnessPal. Actually, I was the team captain of one of the three teams. Today is the last day and I’m ridiculously sad about it. My team was awesome and kicked ass!! They are just an all around great group of people. Many of them have sent me messages today (or posted on their walls) about how much they loved being on my team and...
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I'm dying of laughter
So our school sends out weekly newsletters about upcoming events. Right after I got it, C sent me and a couple of grad students in my cohort this email:
haha, who else dated him? maybe we should all go sit in the front row…
It contained a link to a talk on Feb 15th. The speaker is a guy that three of us went on dates with last year (and another one of us was emailing with him). OKC...
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Jenna!
That was seriously the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. And I don’t care how that sounds. That cupcake/cookie thing (what the hell is it called?) was delicious!!!!!! I took a bite and was going to take a picture so everyone could see how awesome it was with a Reese’s cup inside, but I couldn’t put the damn thing down! Will you marry me? You can stay home and bake...
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My thoughts after the movie tonight
There was absolutely no need for that movie to be in 3D.
My son was definitely NOT switched at birth. He cried. At least twice that I know of: here and here (except it was in English :P).
I know where I want to be on December 14th, 2012. Thorin’s singing gave me goosebumps. I’m a dork, I know.
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“Mom, why did Anakin turn bad? I think it’s because he really wanted a red...”
– Little Man said this to me while I was washing his hair with Star Wars shampoo earlier this week and then repeated it in the car to WUYW today. Keep in mind he has never seen any of the movies.
Also this just happened: “That’s Darth Maul, right? I don’t really like him, he...